Men Have Football Women Have Hate

I preface this post with “not all men have an exuberant passion for football and likewise not all women are filled with hate (I hope). Also while the world calls it football Americans love to call it soccer. Therefore the sport in question is American Football. Let’s get this moving, shall we?

I found this little gem on one of the social networks I am subscribed to

“Men who have a thirty-six-televised-football-games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.” – Erma Bombeck

Some of you might be curious to find out who this person is and for you, read more about Erma Bombeck here. This same lady had another quote

“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.” – Erma Bombeck

A football game runs about 3 hours on the tele and this means that in scenario #1 a man would have to spend 108 hours a week (this works out to about 15.42 hours a day!) on watching football. In scenario #2, he would spend 9 hours in a row.

Work done by Adweek/Harris Poll shows 64% of American watch NFL

almost two-thirds of U.S. adults say they currently watch NFL football (64%), including almost three-quarters of men (73%) and over half of women (55%).

Also, from Statistia,

Time spent watching NFL football on TV 2011

As you can see the majority of folks polled watch only about 5 hours of less per week. The highest allocation of hours is 16 hours per week or more.

This is NOT EVEN CLOSE TO the 15.42 hours A DAY that Erma Bombeck and her legion swear by!

Then there is the question of 3 games at a stretch (9 hours). While I have no hard stats on this, a quick look at the NFL playoff schedule for 2012 (post season) shows one game a day. I will concede that there might be at most 2 games a day. But to state 3 games a day? Come on ladies, let’s be fair now.

Now maybe the reason why women hate this is because they don’t have a “female only” mainstream sport they can get behind. Maybe just as the other camp suspect, they just can’t seem to understand why and how men can have fun without involving them. I have no idea. Whatever the case, you don’t see men complaining that women spend their productive time watching episodes of “Desperate Housewives”, “Real Housewives of [Insert Location], “Teen Moms” and other worthless junk. Which leads me to New Rule

NEWRULE: Ladies, if you want to get all worked up about guys watching football you’ll need to accept that men can get all worked up about you watching reality TV shows like “Desperate Housewives”, “Dr. Phil”, yes and even Oprah! You see, one is about a set of people getting dressed up to systematically take down others, also often in a cohesive fashion, using sanity-pondering tactics. It’s also about questioning some of the most ridiculous decisions one, as a human, could make…And then there’s football.

In other words, “Ladies, leave us the fuck alone”!

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Feminism vs. MRM vs. Egalitarianism

Gender Rights Over The Years

Gender Rights Over The Years

This chart is not meant to be historically accurate or scientific. Rather it’s meant to illustrate the different social movements (feminism and MRM. And yes its missing LGBT activism) that have been gaining momentum and “vocal share” over the past century and more. We start by benchmarking the rights that men had in the early 90s as the egalitarian standard.

Feminism

If you look at the chart above, you’ll notice that even in the early 1900s women’s rights were disproportionate to those enjoyed by males. For example The Nineteenth Amendment, which guarantees equal voting rights regardless of sex, was ratified only on Aug 18, 1920.

For a view on why women weren’t offered suffrage before, see this video by GirlWritesWhat

Here is what she had to say

From the website “great war fiction”, regarding Britain’s white feather campaign…‘In other words, the white feather girls and the suffragettes understood that men had political franchise and women did not because men had a duty to go to war, and protect women.’”

Feminism started as a movement to secure equal rights for women.

Radical Feminism

With time, however, fringe factions that advocated misandry (both subtly and in plain sight) hijacked the feminism conversation. It ceased to be about securing equal rights for women but rather about male hatred masked by half chewed ideas masquerading under pseudo-scientific terms like “patriarchy”, “rape culture” and my personal favorite “male privilege”. The movement became all about “paying back” the men for years of “repression”.

Traditionalism

Over the course of time, some started to see through the pseudo-intellectual smog that radical feminists started to push. The result was members of both sexes advocating for a return to the times of old, wrapped under the premise that we all have different roles to play. The only problem with traditionalism, however, is that this boat has long since sailed and unless some unprecedented humanitarian disaster occurs that forces a radical altering of our social course, this is nothing more than a pipe dream.

 Male Rights Movement (MRM)

From the emasculation of men in media for decades (even more acutely after the 2000s), the heavily skewed family court laws, domestic violence laws, rape culture propaganda, educational and economic setbacks due to a combination of various factors and in no small part due to protectionist ideologies, males have found themselves holding the shorter end of the stick. This gave rise to the movement advocating for equal rights of men – The Male Rights Movement or The Male Rights Activism.

Some would like to believe that the purpose of the MRM is similar to that of traditionalists hell-bent on bringing the world back to the 1950s. The truth couldn’t be further.

Egalitarianism

However Utopian this might sound to some, securing equal rights for all groups is the purpose of the egalitarian movement. Unlike specific movements designed to secure rights for the groups they are designed for (which in essence is also its biggest flaw), egalitarianism is an all-inclusive movement.

Egalitarianism vs. Feminism vs. MRM

Egalitarianism vs. Feminism vs. MRM

Why is the egalitarianism circle slightly larger with more intersection area? Egalitarianism, for example, doesn’t hold the view that parenting decisions should be the sole right of one of the sexes. It transcends the feminist and MRM movements to include other marginalized sections of the society including the LGBT community, the transgender community and other communities that may arise in the generations to follow.

Conclusion

Members of both feminism and MRM contend that the while the ultimate destination could be an egalitarian society, its time to focus solely on the needs of their groups. To highlight the danger of this narrow view, I would like to put forth something I heard recently while watching the movie Lincoln

A compass will point you true north. But it won’t show you the swamps between you and there. If you don’t avoid the swamps, what’s the use of knowing true north?

Most activists in either camp recognize that the ultimate direction (true north) will take them to an egalitarian state. But in the interest of winning those “low hanging fruit”, they chose to overlook that advancing their own causes, through the reasoning of priority, takes them directly into the swamps and ravines.

India’s New Time Pass Is Rape

Recently the nation of India was in the news for all the wrong reasons. Apparently men in India are fond of raping women. In India, a rape occurs every 18-20 minutes. I recently read that Delhi, the nation’s capital, was affectionately called “Rape Capital” by the media. In the last 2 weeks of December 2012 many folks took to the streets to protest a brutal incident where a student was gang raped by 6 freaks on a bus. Tragically, the girl succumbed to her injuries.

You see, this isn’t the first brutal rape to happen in India and without change it won’t be the last. Even while protests were going on, there were multiple incidents reported in various other parts of India. The response to the whole incident and what is undoubtedly a social, cultural and national epidemic was unsurprising and comical at best.

First, the government decided it was going to honor the status quo and took a vow of silence. When anger grew even further some ministers decided they would switch tactics and started the blame game. Some even said the government had to be sensitive/neutral and therefore abstain from addressing the protests. As negative feedback grew all fingers suddenly pointed towards the state police. As if all of this wasn’t comical enough, the media focus frenzy was where the true gold could be found.

If you have ever tried watching a news segment on Indian TV you’ll notice that you can’t hear a goddamn thing as everyone is intent on yelling and more importantly talking all at once. Coz God forbid someone can actually hear what you have to say! “Pundits” and “gurus” came out of the woodwork to offer their take on the “issue” and a plethora of rhetoric followed. All that could be heard was “We have to ask the hard questions”, “Time for introspection” etc. Seriously? People wanted to see change and in true form, the suggested action was “thinking of what action needed to be taken” (half a decade after everyone knew this was a problem)

Here are the some of the fascinating suggestions on short/long-term actions  (as stated by the nation’s citizen on national TV)

  1. Stay indoors
  2. Ban skirts
  3. Stricter laws (as India’s reputation on upholding laws are stellar)
  4. Ban porn sites in India (this was the funniest one. A “liberal arts” student was on national TV advocating this. I’m sure she had tons of data to support her theory about its effectiveness. I am also quite certain she knew all about how proxy servers and VPN worked)
  5. Hiring more women police (as India’s history on workplace harassment is just amazing)
  6. Further segregation between boys/girls and men/women (as it has proven effective for the past 60 years!)

If THIS is the kind of mind-blowing, forward thinking ideas that the nation could come up with, it’s no wonder we are still stuck in this unfortunate rut. I think what is even more sad is that the true intellectuals were drowned out, or they just plainly refused to say what they had it mind coz why bother?

If there is one thing Indians love, it’s status quo and rest assured this won’t be the last we hear of India’s rape epidemic.

Beware of Signature Gatherers

I hate signature gatherers. Can’t even walk down the street for lunch without someone pestering me for a signature to save Grumpy Cat. Here I am trying to enjoy my 60 minutes of freedom at lunch and what do I have to walk straight into? Signature Gatherers with their fluorescent jackets occupying the sidewalks waiting to pounce on everyone that goes by.

With more people ignoring them, however, these folks have gotten more aggressive and sneaky. Ever dealt with the guy who walks towards you with his/her palm out expecting a handshake? What’s up with that. I don’t know you. I don’t know where your paws have been. Get away from me! Then there is the “Hey, what’s you name” ice-breaker tactic. Tough luck sweetie. I don’t even talk to my mom and she’s related! What makes you think I’m going to take time out of my limited lunch break to talk to you about saving the penguins up in the North Pole (everyone knows there are no penguins in the North Pole).

Look, maybe it’s the economy. But times are tough. I don’t have time to worry about the balance of nature, saving the dolphins, equal rights for pets. Who gives a shit. I’m having a hard time trying to get my voice heard on things that actually matter to humans – like the plan to defund Planned Parenthood, Legalize Pot, Equal Marriage Rights, Raise the Minimum Wage and the freaking Fiscal Cliff. Animals are just not high on my priority list right now.

For God’s sake, can’t you see I’m desperately waiting to cross the street just to avoid you? Can’t you see me looking down and avoiding looking even in your general vicinity? Can’t you see my emotions change from blank to “I’m gonna knock you out if you take another step? And why the devil do you insist on occupying the entrance of every joint in the neighborhood that means a damn to me? It’s not like there are other ways to enter, so step aside b***h. No I’m not gonna donate blood. You know why? Coz you annoy the crap out of me. I’m a  nice guy and I like to help but maybe, just maybe, you’ll have better luck if you don’t try to piss me off before I can give your cause a chance.

Sensitive India Inc

Maybe it’s not the whole country just yet, but in the aftermath of the 2008 terror attacks, Mumbai has become a very sensitive city. Did you hear about the one where that Indian girl and her friend were arrested over a Facebook post? Now put aside the fact that the post was neither offensive nor hateful for a moment. Mumbai is a city with a population of 12.4 million people. How in God’s name did this one post from an obscure citizen end up reaching the powers that be, that ended up getting her arrested? Is India watching its citizens like its neighbors?

Experts now claim that the police messed up in the arrest process as, by law, they aren’t allowed to arrest women between dusk and dawn except under “exceptional circumstances”. Really? If we are going to treat women equally as men, I say let everyone get arrested based on the seriousness of their crimes rather than gender. But i digress.

Now the cops arrested them based on a couple of charges, but later withdrew those charges and  booked them under different ones. How can you do that post arrest? Shouldn’t you have a valid reason to arrest folks in the first place? And if that turns out to be wrong, seems to me like they should be allowed to go free at least for now. You shouldn’t be able to shift charges at will. Seems pretty ridiculous.

Then there is the question of the formal charges filed. The girls were charged under Section 505(2) of the Indian Penal Code which

pertains to statements which create or promote enmity, hatred or ill-will between classes

Classes? I think its safe to assume that this isn’t the middle class  / rich we are talking about here. If the Penal Code still has laws that protects the class system, how is India ever supposed to get to a place where everyone is treated equally with no bias based on what they were born into?

At the end of the day. what are the lessons learnt? If you are on Facebook or Twitter, do not make your posts public. If you do make your posts public, stay away from politics and religion. With all the umbrella-laws in place to curb your freedom, better safe than sorry.

Gate Crashers Inc

You ain’t Santa Clause so don’t show up unannounced at someone’s doorstep. There are many good reasons why you should follow this little piece of free advice

  1. Maybe your friend isn’t home. And now, you’ve just put out all those green house emissions travelling to your friend’s place for nothing. No, it’s not ok to ignore this even if you have a Prius.
  2. Maybe your friend is in the middle of some impromptu sexy time. Now you’ve managed to turn yourself into a cock blocker. Way to go! And we all know what happens to cock-blockers.

In eastern societies, most folks have been trained to never insult a guest. In fact, most protocols state that a guest should be treated as a God. Therefore, barring an emergency, odds are you will be invited into your friend’s home even if they were in the middle of something important. I hate it when this happens, but this is where is gets even uglier.

Annoyed PicardDon’t you just hate it when these folks who barge in unannounced just won’t leave. First, you go out of your way to accommodate them despite your urgent circumstances, and now they’re just camping? And it’s not like you aren’t dropping hints along the way. These folks just seem to want to linger – the conversation just goes on and on and on. It’s just the same things on repeat.

Look, I’m all for a good time. Why don’t you call ahead? I’ll get the barbecue going, we’ll have a few drinks too if you’re into that kinda thing. And heck, we’ll even watch those stupid cat videos you seem to love on YouTube. But for fuck sake, next time, call ahead will ya please?

P.S:- We all have that one friend we are inclined to take a few extra liberties with (I’m guilty of this too). But maybe it’s in everyone’s best interest to place a courtesy call before you walk in with that 6 pack, a bong and that bag of Doritos. On second thought, just leave the Doritos at the door.