What She Doesn’t Want You To Know About Penguins

Image : Aptenodytes forsteri © Ian Duffy / Wikimedia Common / CC BY 2.0

Most women are quick to pick the penguins as their species of choice when trying to illustrate their preference in relationship rituals. Remember that movie “Good Luck Chuck”, where Jessica Alba gets a pebble in the end? Holy Shit! Men all over the world have since been scrambling to get their hands on the smoothest cut of rock (No, not diamonds, real pebbles). So much so, that penguins are having trouble finding decent stones to woo their partners. Now, penguins and their rituals are supposed to highlight two very specific traits.

  • Women get to choose their mates (the pebble ritual) – As members of  a semi-evolved, modern society, everyone should be free to choose their partners. None of this forced arranged marriage that some societies seem to willingly blindly follow. Having said that, if your best argument for freedom of choice is a penguin and a stone, you need to go back to the drawing board…quick!
  • Penguins are monogamous and, thus, by extension faithful – This is where the whole thing falls apart. You see, penguins are “serially monogamous” – this means that for one mating season, and for one mating season alone, a male penguin will stick with one female partner. After the season is over, the go their separate ways. If they find each other the next year, they stick with each other again. However, the reality is that only 15% of pairs find each other the next year and that drops to a colossal 5% in the third year. So basically, after the first year, they just sleep around.

So ladies, for the sweet love of God, stop taking the penguin’s name in vain. It is nothing but a paradox.

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